Tantrums, or temper tantrums, are a normal part of childhood. They usually occur when a child has a sudden outburst of anger and frustration, and they cannot express their needs or feelings in words. Tantrums are described as unpleasant behavior both physically and verbally.

Tantrums are most common in children between 1 and 4 years of age, a stage when children still struggle to communicate clearly to their parents. These episodes typically last 2–15 minutes and are often triggered by drowsiness, hunger, or fatigue. To help prevent them, parents can monitor their sleep and eating patterns so children are well-rested and full, especially before the family is going out.

Unfortunately, not all parents understand tantrums or how to manage tantrums of their children effectively. This can unintentionally make the behavior escalate. Below are common mistakes that can worsen the tantrums children show.

1. Responding to Their Tears

A frequent mistake parents make is responding to an exploding tantrum full of anger displayed by their children with either comforting promises or scolding them.

Examples of “positive” responses that still reinforce the tantrum behavior are:

Okay, we will go out again tomorrow.

The cake is finished; Mommy will buy you ice cream.

Examples of “negative” responses intended to scold the children and stop the tantrum are:

Stop crying, you look like a baby!

Stop crying or I will pinch you!

Do not cry here; it will embarrass you.

The key is to ignore their outburst and give them space while you are also staying nearby them. Ignoring them does not mean leaving your children; it means you can observe them closely and ensure your children will not hurt themselves.

2. Comforting them during their tantrum

A tantrum is an emotional release. If a child needs to cry, allow the tears to come out. This can help children to recognize and express their emotions appropriately. There is no need to comfort them immediately; you can remain close and provide them space.

3. Giving them what they want during the tantrum

In public, embarrassment that parents feel can tempt them to give in to their children. The crying and bursts of anger your child display may stop fast, but the tantrums will likely worsen the next time they occur. It will be more difficult to face them.

Children learn that crying and yelling can give their rewards immediately, and the pattern repeats whenever they want something. This makes future situations harder to handle.

4. Repeating warnings and threats

Repeatedly warning or threatening your child to stop will not do anything. This can make it harder for your child to express their feelings and can increase more confusion. If you think other people are being disturbed, you can move to a quieter place and allow your child to vent there. Most tantrum episodes will fade within minutes as their energy run out.

5. Using Bribes

Out of frustration, parents sometimes will offer toys or food to stop their child from crying. Giving in to their demands can teach your children that tantrums will lead to immediate rewards. This will in turn make future tantrums to be more severe.

Do not worry, because tantrums usually decrease as children grow and start school. Once children can express needs in words that parents understand, tantrums tend to subside. If tantrums last longer than usual, occur many times a day, or do not improve after the child turns 5 years old, consult a psychiatrist or psychologist.

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