Bukan Mempermalukan, Ini Cara yang Benar Memberi Kritik pada Anak

Bukan Mempermalukan, Ini Cara yang Benar Memberi Kritik pada Anak
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Salah satu hal yang sulit dalam menjadi orang tua adalah menahan diri untuk tidak selalu mengkritik anak ketika mereka melakukan kesalahan. Rasanya gemas melihat kesalahan-kesalahan sederhana yang dilakukan, padahal semestinya bila mereka mau mendengarkan Anda, kesalahan tersebut mungkin tidak akan dilakukan, demikian pikir Anda.

Perlu dipahami bahwa anak-anak adalah masa di mana mereka masih dalam masa pertumbuhan dan perkembangan. Tak hanya pertumbuhan fisik yang bisa dilihat oleh mata, namun juga pemikiran dan emosionalnya. Adalah suatu hal yang wajar ketika mereka membuat kesalahan yang tampak sederhana di mata orang tua, namun tidak mudah di mata anak-anak. Inilah mengapa sangat penting untuk tahu kapan harus memberikan kritik pada anak, dengan tidak mempermalukannya.

Anak-anak memiliki perasaan yang lembut dan bisa terluka ketika kritikan Anda bukannya membangun namun justru mempermalukan. Kritikan seperti ini sama sekali tidak akan membantunya, tidak membuatnya berubah menjadi lebih baik, namun hanya akan melukainya. Bagaimana caranya? Tips berikut akan membantu Anda.

 

Mengajarkan Anak Melakukan Evaluasi Diri

Saat Anda kecewa terhadap hasil kerja anak, maka hal yang paling bijaksana adalah mengajarkan anak untuk mengevaluasi kinerjanya sendiri. Mengevaluasi diri akan membantu anak berkembang menjadi lebih kritis dan memiliki motivasi untuk melakukan hal lebih baik lagi. Sebaliknya, bila Anda yang memberikan kritikan tajam dan evaluasi terus menerus, anak akan kehilangan kepercayaan diri untuk mencoba atau melakukan hal lain kelak.

Tanyakan pada anak, apakah mereka senang dengan hasil yang telah dicapai? Apakah mereka ingin melakukan yang lebih baik lagi kelak? Apa saja yang telah mereka pelajari dari pengalaman kali ini? Bantuan apa yang dibutuhkan untuk mencapai tujuan mereka, dan lain sebagainya.

Dengan mengevaluasi diri, mereka mungkin akan mengungkapkan kesulitan yang dihadapi dan mereka juga merasa membutuhkan tutor yang bisa mendampingi. Di sinilah peran Anda bisa memberikan kritik dan masukan yang membangun sehingga anak bisa memperbaiki kesalahan tanpa merasa dipermalukan.

 

Kegagalan Adalah Sebuah Peristiwa, Bukan Identitas

Sangatlah penting bagi orang tua untuk menekankan pada anak bahwa kegagalan adalah hal yang biasa ditemui di dalam hidup. Kegagalan adalah sebagian dari peristiwa, yang bukan menyatakan identitas diri. Siapa saja bisa memperbaiki kesalahan dan bangkit lagi dari kegagalan, termasuk anak-anak Anda. Dengan begini, mereka bisa mendapatkan kembali rasa percaya diri, dan menyusun strategi untuk menjadi lebih baik lagi di lain waktu.

 

Berempatilah Ketika Anak-Anak Melakukan Kesalahan

Marah bukanlah sikap yang tepat untuk ditunjukkan ketika mereka melakukan kesalahan, karena itu justru akan membuat mereka merasa semakin buruk. Berempatilah terhadap perasaan anak-anak yang mungkin sedih atau kecewa terhadap diri sendiri ketika melakukan kesalahan. Tanyakan bagaimana perasaan mereka, bagaimana penyesalan mereka yang akan menggiring mereka untuk berhati-hati di kemudian hari dan tidak mengulang kesalahan yang sama.

Hal ini juga dapat membantu anak lebih mengerti bahwa kesalahan adalah sebagai bagian dari kehidupan, yang sangat wajar dilakukan semua orang dan bisa diperbaiki dengan bersikap lebih baik lagi.

 

Bahwa Menjadi yang Nomor Dua Bukanlah Suatu Hal Memalukan

Sebagai makhluk sosial, adalah wajar ketika anak-anak merasa ingin selalu berkompetisi dan menjadi yang terbaik. Namun jangan lupa mengajarkan mereka untuk menerima keadaan, bahwa terkadang menjadi yang nomor dua bukanlah suatu hal yang buruk.

Berkompetisi membantu anak untuk termotivasi, tetapi selalu fokus untuk menjadi nomor satu dan mengalahkan anak lain tidak akan membuat anak menjadi maju dan bisa belajar dari kesalahan. Hal tersebut bahkan bisa mendorong anak mudah frustasi ketika mereka gagal.

Jadi, di lain waktu anak melakukan kesalahan, tahan dan pikirkan terlebih dahulu kalimat yang pantas untuk diucapkan kepada anak. Ketika ingin memberikan kritikan, pastikan kalimat yang digunakan bukanlah hal yang menyerang dan mempermalukan anak, namun lebih bersifat membangun dan membuat anak menjadi lebih baik lagi.

 

Mau tahu informasi seputar kehamilan, menyusui, kesehatan wanita dan anak-anak? Cek di sini, ya!

 

 

Writer : Agatha Writer
Editor :
  • dr Anita Larasati Priyono
Last Updated : Minggu, 16 April 2023 | 01:26

Jennifer White (2020). What to Do When People Judge Your Parenting. Available from: https://www.verywellfamily.com/when-people-judge-your-parenting-style-284540

Christine Carter (2008). How to Criticize Your Kids. Available from: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_criticize_your_kids

Amy Morin, LCSW (2020). How to Give Your Teen Constructive Criticism. Available from: https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-give-your-teen-criticicism-4086439

Karen Young (2020). When Our Kids Get it Wrong – Why Criticism Won’t Work, And What to Do Instead. Available from: https://www.heysigmund.com/kids-and-criticism-heres-what-happens-and-what-to-do-instead/

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        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
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        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
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        Backtrace
        • view::web.v2.partials.article-popular:8
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
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        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:72
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        Backtrace
        • view::web.v2.partials.article-popular:8
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:72
      • related-article.blade.php#8aicare_prod_new4.86msselect `categories`.*, `category_post`.`post_id` as `pivot_post_id`, `category_post`.`category_id` as `pivot_category_id`, `category_post`.`created_at` as `pivot_created_at`, `category_post`.`updated_at` as `pivot_updated_at` from `categories` inner join `category_post` on `categories`.`id` = `category_post`.`category_id` where `category_post`.`post_id` = 8351 and `categories`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 8351
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        Backtrace
        • view::web.v2.partials.related-article:8
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
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      • related-article.blade.php#8aicare_prod_new4.82msselect `categories`.*, `category_post`.`post_id` as `pivot_post_id`, `category_post`.`category_id` as `pivot_category_id`, `category_post`.`created_at` as `pivot_created_at`, `category_post`.`updated_at` as `pivot_updated_at` from `categories` inner join `category_post` on `categories`.`id` = `category_post`.`category_id` where `category_post`.`post_id` = 8373 and `categories`.`deleted_at` is null
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        Backtrace
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        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:72
      • related-article.blade.php#8aicare_prod_new4.95msselect `categories`.*, `category_post`.`post_id` as `pivot_post_id`, `category_post`.`category_id` as `pivot_category_id`, `category_post`.`created_at` as `pivot_created_at`, `category_post`.`updated_at` as `pivot_updated_at` from `categories` inner join `category_post` on `categories`.`id` = `category_post`.`category_id` where `category_post`.`post_id` = 8718 and `categories`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
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        Hints
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        Backtrace
        • view::web.v2.partials.related-article:8
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:72
      • related-article.blade.php#8aicare_prod_new5.1msselect `categories`.*, `category_post`.`post_id` as `pivot_post_id`, `category_post`.`category_id` as `pivot_category_id`, `category_post`.`created_at` as `pivot_created_at`, `category_post`.`updated_at` as `pivot_updated_at` from `categories` inner join `category_post` on `categories`.`id` = `category_post`.`category_id` where `category_post`.`post_id` = 8757 and `categories`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
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        Hints
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        Backtrace
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        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
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        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:72
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        Backtrace
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        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:72
      • web_layout.blade.php#547aicare_prod_new610μsselect * from `faqs` limit 1
        Hints
        • Use SELECT * only if you need all columns from table
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        Backtrace
        • view::layouts.v2.web_layout:547
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:72
      • web_layout.blade.php#551aicare_prod_new770μsselect * from `term_policies`
        Hints
        • Use SELECT * only if you need all columns from table
        • The SELECT statement has no WHERE clause and could examine many more rows than intended
        Backtrace
        • view::layouts.v2.web_layout:551
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:72
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