Parental divorce isn’t what any couple hopes for. Even so, in some situations it becomes the best option to prevent worsening conflict and constant arguments. The consequences of divorce are felt not only by the separating couple but also by their children.

How Divorce Affects Children

Every family faces its own challenges. Sometimes parents choose to end the marriage so each can build a healthier life, especially when children are involved. Even so, divorce can have direct and indirect effects on a child’s development.

Some ways parental divorce can affect children include:

Children may feel angry

Children can feel angry about their parents’ separation. This anger can be experienced at any age, especially in school-age children and teenagers. Feelings of being neglected or losing control over their lives can fuel that anger.

When parents split up, children may feel their whole world has changed and that they can do nothing about it. They no longer live with both parents, may feel abandoned, and sometimes even blame themselves for the divorce.

Experiencing academic problems

Research shows children of divorced parents tend to have lower grades and at school and face a higher risk of dropping out compared to their peers. This pattern is often seen in children aged 13-18 years old, although children as young as six years old can also be affected.

Contributing factors include the children feeling neglected, depressed, and distracted by parental conflict. As a result, motivation to study can drop.

Depression

Divorce stress is felt by parents and children alike. Studies indicate that children going through a divorce are at risk for depression. Some develop severe depression, which can lead to self-harm threats or attempts.

This problem can affect all ages but is more noticeable from around 11 years and up. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, boys face a higher suicide risk than girls.

Feeling forced to take sides

When parents argue, children can feel trapped in the middle. They may be unsure whether to side with their mother or their father. Consciously or not, as they grow up, they can feel pressured to choose one parent. Which parent they side with may also change over time.

Riskier behaviors

Children of divorce have an increased chance of engaging in risky behavior. Examples include:

• Using illegal drugs
• Having sexual intercourse at a relatively young age
• Smoking
• Drinking alcohol

Beyond these factors, children may act out and become more aggressive. Shifts in their views on marriage and having children can also play a role.

Withdrawing from social life

Some children become very shy and begin to withdraw socially. They may lose interest in meeting friends at school or in the neighborhood. Insecurity can grow, leading to anxiety and reluctance to socialize.

Vulnerable to relationships problems in the future

Children who experience divorce of their parents may carry trauma and change their views on long-term relationships. They can grow up with lack of trust in marriage and feeling less eager to enter a committed, long-term partnerships.

Parental divorce can negatively affect child health and development. If your children are going through a divorce situation and you notice behavioral changes afterward, consult a doctor or psychologist to support child mental health. You can also use a trusted telehealth service for timely guidance about the impact of parental divorce on mental health.

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