Most parents hope their children will grow into independent adults that can handle their own problems. However, some parents become so involved in every aspect of their child’s life that the child ends up relying on them for almost everything. This overly involved style of parenting is often called helicopter parenting.

What Is Helicopter Parenting?

The term “helicopter parent” first appeared in 1969 in Haim Ginott’s book Parents & Teenagers. Today, when people ask what is helicopter parenting, the phrase refers to a parenting style in which parents constantly “hover” over their children and closely monitor and control their activities. It is sometimes described as overparenting or overprotective parenting.

This parenting style often develops without the children fully realizing it. Some common examples of helicopter parenting include:

• Frequently completing their child’s school assignments instead of letting them try on their own

• Refusing to let the child be alone or unsupervised

• Regularly directing the child, their teachers, or coaches on what should be done

• Handling all household tasks that the child is actually capable of doing

• Trying to prevent the child from failing or facing the natural risks and consequences of their choices

The Effects of Helicopter Parenting on Children

Many parents feel more comfortable applying helicopter parenting style because they want to protect their children from failure. Some also repeat what they themselves longed for in childhood, such as attention or material support from their own parents.

Although it may look easier in the short term, helicopter parenting can interfere with a child’s development. Some of the negative effects are:

Even though it looks easy for children and parents, helicopter parenting has a bad impact on children's development. The negative effect of helicopter parenting among others:

1. Children struggle to face challenges

Children that grow up with helicopter parenting often find it hard to cope with challenges and problems when they get older. They are used to having parents step in for almost everything, whether the issues were big or small. As a result, they lack practice in making decisions and solving problems independently.

2. Children have difficulty socializing

According to WebMD, one impact of helicopter parenting is poorer social skills. These children may hesitate to take initiative and find it harder to build friendships. Because parents constantly direct how they interact with others, they can feel awkward in social situations and unsure of how to navigate group dynamics on their own.

3. Children find it hard to manage their emotions and behavior

When helicopter parenting have big influence to children, the child has less opportunity to learn how to regulate their own reactions. In strong helicopter parenting, parents often decide how the child “should” feel about many things, making it difficult for the child to recognize and process their own emotions. Over time, this can lead to problems with emotional regulation and behavior on children.

4. Children develop low self-esteem

Children who are constantly monitored and controlled may feel as though nothing they do is ever good enough. This can gradually erode their confidence and grow up with low self-esteem.

5. Children lack basic life skills

In this parenting pattern, parents frequently step in and do everything for their children. Because of this, children miss chances to learn alone, about the skills and abilities needed to solve problems. Later, they may struggle on how to take care of their own needs because they were never encouraged to practice them.

If you realize your current parenting approach is close to helicopter parenting, it is not too late to adjust it. Start by trusting your child more and allowing them to handle age-appropriate problems on their own. Practice listening to their ideas and respecting their opinions. If you are worried that your parenting style is affecting your child’s development, consider discussing it with a psychologist or psychiatrist.

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